Saturday, June 17, 2006

Gravity, Cute-Fuzzy-Dogs, and other Lurking Evil

Yesterday started off fine. It really did. Everything was perfect right up until the moment I left my bed. Then (insert evil music) it all went down hill, or rather down steps...

I happen to have a cute little cocker spaniel, who left his previous homes for unstated reasons, has stopped off here for "vacation", and will hopefully find a new permenant home. He is cute and fluffy, is wildly active in very entertaining ways, and has those soulful dark eyes that can melt a mere human at forty feet. He's named Melvin. And none of the above mentions how said adorable dog is actually a shifter of the worst degree and can turn into the devil.

So there I am attempting to take the house dogs and Melvin outside to potty, when he turns into the devil. Okay so far he is still claiming he was framed and that the cat was actually the villain of the incident, but I'm not buying it just yet... I will lay it all out and let you the jury decide.

So I have Melvin on a flexi-lead so that he can run off some of his energy and I turn just slightly to close the door at the top of five wooden steps. That's when things went wrong. Melvin, for reasons yet to be determined (he claims the cat lured him into a highspeed attack), takes off at a dead run and BAMMMMMM hits the end of the lead. I manage to hold onto the hoor handle and stay upright-just barely.


And I go flying out through the air. I know parts of me hit the stairs, but most seemed to land hard on the stone padio/walkway. Things get a little bit fuzzy there. I managed to hold onto Mel's lead, bring him back inside and put him back into the crate. I managed to get the phone and call my mom, NOPE- NOT 911. (I live too far out for them to be useful) After I dialed the phone, I'm told 30-60 seconds went by with Mom talking to me trying to get me to answer. I "woke up" and lifted the phone which (weighed about a ton) and told her "I fell" and "I think I'm hurt". She said she was on her way, and I'm quite sure she was. *MOMs ARE GREAT!*

What I didn't say over the phone was, that I was scared sh*tless. From the time I woke up with the phone in my hand until after Mom arrived, I had no vision. NONE. The world had turned terrifyingly black. Now, I'm no doctor, but that is a bad sign that even I recognize. And I was plenty alert enough to know how bad it SUCKED TO BE BLIND. Thank God (and I did) that it only lasted a few minutes.

In fact, as Mom patched me up and lectured me about the need to go to the hospital, I returned to mostly normal. Well as normal as I -being uber clumbsie- ever was. I did refuse to go to the ER. By the time Mom was checking me out, my eyesight came back. and by the time she got the dogs put away, I was no longer even dizzy. I think I was speaking logically when I said all the ER could do for me was stitch up the nasty cut on my elbow and send me a huge bill. And for that... any payment done for this crazy event should go to MOM! So, we settled my house and she herded me back to hers, rightly wanting to keep an eye on me for any lasting harm.

Today I ache all over, specifically my elbow, side, knee and ankle (which I assume broke my fall) and my right hand which held the lead and was stopped suddenly on a large stone. My brother and father are joking that I'm perfect for big Ben now, LOL.

The cat still claims he's innocent. Mel still claims he was framed and I assume I will heal in time. So all's well that ends well... or so I'm told.

who plans build that deck ASAP...